Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Critical Narrative

There I was standing with the biggest smile while I nervously waited for more of my new students; all I could hear was the excitement in every child’s voice as they hustled and bustled down the hall to meet their new teachers. The first day is always exciting! I had just seated a little girl who was overjoyed to become a Boyd’s Bee; she beamed from ear to ear. As I turned to take my place at the door, I bumped into a little girl whom appeared to have a ten pound weight lingering around her neck. Her hand was stuck to her mother’s as if someone had plastered super duper glue onto them. Not even a crow bar held by Arnold Schwarzenegger could pry them apart. “Hello, I am Mrs. Padilla and this is my daughter Celeste.” She said as she lifted Celeste’s head with her own hand. “Well, I am Ms. Boyd and I am very excited that you are going to be in my class” I stated with such joy and enthusiasm, yet Celeste still had an indifferent look upon her face. I tried to make small talk with her but it wasn’t working, she would just shake her head, nod, look down or twiddle her thumbs. I walked Celeste over to her new headquarters in my classroom and asked her to read the letter I had waiting for her. As I walked Mrs. Padilla out, she informed me that Celeste was extremely shy and had a lack of confidence in her abilities as a student.

I didn’t realize exactly how timid and reluctant Celeste was until we started a small scavenger hunt in which she just drifted off into the outskirts of the groups. As I watched Celeste, my childhood past inundated into my thoughts, I remembered how incredibly miserable it was to be so shy. In my own mind I had an immediate connection with Celeste, yet she had no inkling of a clue of the link. Painstakingly, I knew exactly how she felt. She was going to be a hard egg to crack, could I stand the challenge…. I hoped so! I walked over to Celeste and begin to tell her information about myself so that she could get started on the hunt, my favorite food, color, music and pet, when I would respond to one I would have her respond as well. We soon realized we had a lot in common, and finally a smile began to emerge onto her face. “See, we are all getting to know one another and you know you want to find out about everyone.” She replied, “I guess so.” I walked her over to a couple of other students and she began to question them in the softest, quietest voice she could muster. One step towards the goal accomplished… class mingling.

Throughout the rest of the day I worked on making her feel comfortable within the classroom and tried to build her trust in me. I knew I had to gain her belief and confidence in me before we could build on her own self-assurance. At the end of the day I looked into her cumulative folder and discovered she had previously been held back and had failed third grade along with the Reading TAKS, but was placed in fourth grade anyway. This new information gave me an insight into the reasons that caused her to feel the way she did. As the next few weeks went on I realized that Celeste was not only having a hard time finishing work in an ample amount of time but she struggled immensely as a reader. Yet, she was not labeled as having any type of learning disability; however she was labeled as a second language learner. So, being naïve I just assumed that this was causing her to struggle as a reader. Immediately, I began to incorporate more ESL strategies with her, but they really didn’t seem to work as well with her as they did the other students. What else could I do? I decided to ask Celeste her opinion on the scenario, who better to find out from than the student.
Celeste informed me that last year’s teacher had tutored her and given her a colored overlay for her papers when reading. Covered overlay, could she have dyslexia? Why hadn’t someone told me about this, if her teacher from last year knew this than why had she not written it on the student placement paper. This would explain the struggle as a reader and the prolonged time it takes to finish work, and the extreme lack of confidence. I decided to dig through her thick cumulative folder again and analyze each single paper to see if there was anything written about the possibility of dyslexia. After about 30 minutes of reading each document, I discovered another placement form that said “Celeste is being placed in 4th grade pending Dyslexia Testing”, pending, no one had even remotely discussed testing her for Dyslexia and it was already the second six weeks of the school year. I immediately went to my principal and worked on getting the ball rolling on the testing for Celeste; of course I had to show the only proof of evidence, grade placement documentation. But, I wondered why is there not a way to inform the student’s new teacher about all of this, obviously with all of today’s technology you would think that this could have been listed on the database as well.

I began to incorporate dyslexic strategies into Celeste’s everyday routine with me. The colored overlay seemed to help and sometimes I would print things on colored paper for everyone so that she wouldn’t feel so different from everyone else. Although, my students did a good job at not even mentioning the fact that she used one. We always talked about how every student was smart but we had different paces and ways that we all learned. I began to research more strategies to focus on for Dyslexic children and I found that the most beneficial for Celeste was just allowing her more time to complete assignments, giving her clear instructions and repeating them, using visuals and reading aloud with her. I also used a reading program that went back to the basics of phonics/phonemes with her and sent the workbook home with her for her parents to help. I assigned a peer tutor for Celeste, whom she got to pick because I wanted her to feel comfortable.

Toward the middle of the second six weeks I heard a rambling knock on my classroom door, “What now, I don’t have time for this I am in the middle of a lesson”, I thought to myself as I opened the door with a look of frustration. Standing outside my door stood sweet Celeste, with her head down as if she were an armadillo trying to pull herself into a little ball to escape the situation. Along the lines of her rosy red cheeks droplets of sad tears trickled down her face and fell to the floor. “Celeste, what is wrong?” as I wrapped my arm around her like as if she was a wounded bird, and she began to sob uncontrollably. I suddenly found myself standing in front of this child in utter confusion as to why she could be crying. I placed my hand under her chin and pushed her head up so that I could look into her brown puppy dog eyes that were full of sadness. After telling her in the sweetest softest voice I could manage that it was okay to cry and that I was her to help, but I must know what is going on. She began to speak with a muffled voice, “Ms. Artho sent me here.” “Why”, I asked, “Because I didn’t finish my assignment in time”, while she spoke she looked up at me with this “please help me, Ms. Boyd” look that tore my heart to shreds. Celeste continued to inform me that she had diligently worked on the assignment, but just wasn’t able to finish. I believed her because I understood her situation. I had discussed Celeste’s problems with her two other teachers but it was clear at this moment that we as teachers needed to collaborate better as colleagues for the students. I gave Celeste a hug, I explained that it is okay to take more time and that I would discuss the issue with Ms. Artho over lunch. She seemed to feel better when I allowed her to stay in my classroom for the rest of the 10 minutes before lunch, where she again diligently worked on her assignment. At lunch, Ms. Artho and I discussed Celeste; she informed me that Celeste shutdown with her after she was questioned about not finishing the assignment in the amount of time allotted. I suddenly realized that I had gained Celeste’s trust; we had created a bond because she was able to discuss her feelings with me, this was progress.

A few more weeks went by and Celeste was finally tested and “labeled” dyslexic. I still was careful on singling her out in class discussions, we had developed a way for her to communicate that she understood. She would jot down key words on her paper for me to see as I walked by; if she wasn’t correct I would shake my head no. This would take place while other students raised their hands and gave verbal responses; she just wasn’t quite ready for that. I decided that I needed to start building her up by using questions that she could answer whatever and not be wrong.


After reading a chapter from the “Mouse and the Motorcycle” I asked the simple question of “How would you have acted if you were Ralph?” and naturally hands shot up like rockets all around the room. “Yes!” I thought they are really going to participate. “Garret what would you have done?” I would have raced away in the car and never returned home again!” the sound of laughter up roared among the class as I even had to giggle at the thought of that. I felt as if the entire class was enjoying answering this simple, basic, and “can’t be wrong” question. A little light bulb went off in my head … maybe I should call on Celeste, this would be an easy answer for her to give so that she would start to gain confidence in herself. Bingo! “Celeste, how about you?”, She turned and looked at me as if I had just ran over her favorite dog, Leo and crushed her soul to the size of a pomegranate seed. Like a well-oiled machine her head begin to be pulled down by the heaviest weight of all, her lack of confidence, and embarrassment of her drastic learning disability. My heart sank to what I thought at the moment, was a bottomless pit of inconsideration. “How could I have put her on the spot like that?” How am I going to fix this step backwards that I just made?


Although, I had a minor setback with Celeste it turned out to be a huge building block for her progress. After, the incident I knew I must make a mends with her because she was very likely to shutdown like a robot and lose all trust in me. I asked Celeste to eat lunch with me, she seemed reluctant but I convinced her to. I knew she was upset with me and it was not good. She was as fragile as a flower when it came to her emotions. Lunch turned out to be my saving grace to help her continue her trust in me and build upon her self-dependence. We talked about how it made her feel and why, she felt as if she would get the answer wrong. I explained that it was a question that you can’t get wrong because it is based on what you believe. We talked about all the times other students had gotten answers wrong and how no one laughed or gawked at them. She explained to me how incompetent she still felt sometimes when other students rushed through work, read a book faster and etc. We talked about how things would not come easy for her, but it didn’t make her any less smart than her classmates, if anything she would gain more knowledge from this. By the time lunch was over we both agreed that she would start working on feeling more confident in herself. Of course, the battle was yet to be over.

I began to praise Celeste for minor things; we set short term goals which she usually met and it helped boost her belief in her capabilities. Even the other students would help me in praising her; it was really neat to watch the kids help her as well. I would point out the excellent things she did in writing class and use her written response answers in reading class as examples of how to answer questions. Naturally, she was still very weak, so we continued the one on one reading, practiced writing together and keep working on corrective reading. She seemed to be finding and believing in herself. The attitude of “giving up” faded away and the positive “I can do this!” took its place. Towards, the end of the year Celeste began to volunteer to participate in class discussions and she would even ask to read. And it wasn’t even the usual I’ll raise my hand then change my mind when I get called on approach it was the real deal. She was confident, was she always right? No, she wasn’t but I made sure to turn her answer into something that was right by the time she was done speaking. I would help her process it.

All through the year, Celeste had never finished a reading or a writing benchmark because our district only allowed them to work on it during the school day. I always ensured her that she would have an ample amount of time. Evidently the ample amount of time provided her a passing score for both her reading and writing TAKS. When I informed her of the results she began to cry as did I because for once in her life she was finally successful at something. Finally, all of her hard work, hours of tutoring and the belief in herself had paid off! The most gratifying of all was when her mom came to visit me on the last day of school. Mrs. Padilla said with tears in her eyes, “I wanted to personally come tell you thank you for all that you have done for Celeste this year. She is a changed child; she has never been so confident in herself and achieved so many things like she has this year. She is happy.” I couldn’t help but cry I gave her a hug and said “Thank you for sharing Celeste, she did all of the work, it wasn’t me. I have learned more in one year from her than any one person or book could have taught me.”

1 comment:

Kinderbeanie :) said...

Hi Rachell,

What a great story. I always love to read the Critical Narratives and then read the Lit Review's to see the research-based "reasons" that support what we do.

Celeste was so lucky to have you on her side. Often, as you well know, we tend to have difficulty reaching the "one" in our class who needs us so much.

When you were reading your information for your Lit Review, how did you feel when you found supporting evidence for how you interacted so individually with Celeste? How has this "validation" changed you? How are you going to help other Celeste's in our classrooms?

I really enjoyed your vivid descriptions and felt your tears as you told your and Celeste's story. Thank goodness for caring, concerned, committed educators like you!

Joyce :)